Day 5: Post Op

So, our first full night and day completely off the epidural was rough.  I think Ava is tolerating the oxycontin well, (if anything it's a little high and she's a bit sleepier than we want her to be) but Ryan reported that she was up in the middle of the night having to go to the bathroom, so she didn't rest as well as we had hoped.  Navigating the toilet is a whole new situation.  Last night, they put her on the bedpan at 3am-ish and she was on it for an hour and a half!!!  Ryan stayed overnight - I probably wouldn't have let her stay there that long - but it's a risk vs. reward type thing with her.  Because moving her on and off anything is a struggle.  So, getting her off the bedpan and then back onto it when she decided she had to go again in 15 minutes probably wouldn't be worth it either.  :/  Anyway, she woke up tired and grumpy again this morning.  Complaining of a stomachache, headache, the works. We aren't sure where the headaches are coming from, but they are off and on all day now.  She is refusing to take her medicine without a fight now, too.  Pretty much all of it.  Which is really frustrating because the oxycontin she HAS to have and the valium is really helpful for muscle spasms (she HATES the taste of that one), and there is another stool softener she really needs to have, but also says tastes awful.  ($395 is what it cost me to fill all of those prescriptions tonight for when we leave the hospital tomorrow.  Gulp)

So, I arrived at the hospital to find Ryan completely frazzled and frustrated and he and the nurse both trying to get her to take the oxy.  Not a good start to the day.  She finally took it, but was grumpy for quite a while - napped for a bit and totally ignored PT when he came in to work with her.

My mom arrived for a visit and I really thought that would perk Ava up a lot.  But alas, no dice.  :/  We got her to take the valium, but it did not help for PT, unfortunately.  She had to get up for the bathroom, so we just got her in the chair and then PT came back and he took her to the room down the hall.  

She is convinced that everything she does hurts.  Every movement, every lift, every stretch, every step.  I don't know what happened to the girl yesterday who wanted to walk again and who did so well.  Today, that girl was gone and in her place was a complete mess - whining, crying, yelling out, rude and general grump.  I admit to getting frustrated and yelling at her a few times.  I think we are all feeling the stress right now.  I am sure that getting out of the hospital tomorrow will help, but I am a bit worried about doing this on my own soon.  Ryan left this afternoon to go back home, spend some time with Carter and go back to work tomorrow.  My mom heads back tomorrow and Amber leaves on Wednesday.  Right now it takes at least two of us to get her in and out of bed, in and out of the wheelchair, and on and off the toilet.  That is a lot for me to do if she is fighting me and not cooperating and lifting herself at all and all that.  She isn't really getting the fact that SHE has to do this and that nobody can do it for her.

The good news of the day is that we got completely off the pole - no more IV anything.  They took out the port in her hand, so that is one less thing she can complain about!  And we don't have to take the pole everywhere (what a pain!) and the nurses don't have to take her vitals as often.

I could write a novel about how amazing it has been for my sister to be here.  I don't know what the frick I was thinking when I thought I could do this myself.  And I didn't really realize how much I didn't know about....well, everything.  What is normal, what is typical, how many cc's or ml's of what is needed for which thing and what NEEDS to happen vs. what someone in the hospital thinks would be easier for them.  I will write later about the pharmacy debacle, but let's just say that Amber showed me tonight that it's definitely not who you know....it's WHAT you KNOW!  She kicks some serious ass - and I am pretty sure that those who work with her probably don't mess with her.   (For those of you who don't know, she's a clinical pharmacist in a hospital where she lives in Georgia, works in oncology with chemo, bone marrow & stem cell treatments.  Yup, she's the smartest of the bunch.)  We have always been healthy.  Nobody in our family even gets fevers or has had anything more than a common cold for a few days.  We've never been in the hospital for anything (except me having my routine two chidbirths) and so this is all completely foreign territory for me.  I.had.no.idea.

Putting the extender bar back in every night has so far been a huge struggle for all of us.  We tried to do it for the first time by ourselves last night and ended up having to call Dr. Standard's residents to come help us.  Tonight, it was a huge struggle just because Ava wouldn't get her body into the right position for it.  She has to lay nearly flat, bend her left (good) knee up and relax her body for me to screw it in position.  She was not cooperating and it took at least 15 minutes with Amber, mom and I all trying to convince her to get into the right position.

Ugh.  I just cannot fight with her about all this stuff for 4 months.  I'm definitely starting to feel overwhelmed and frustrated.  Tonight, I feel more like I did the morning of surgery.  Like I could burst into tears at any moment.  Not sure if it's the fact that we've been here 5 days now, my back hurting from all the bending over/sitting on the floor, not sleeping well/enough, etc. or if I just am starting to see more of Ava's strong-willed personality than anything else.  I was super patient with her when she was in pain and we were trying to figure everything out together.  Now that it's just simply her refusing to participate and being obstinate, I have much less patience and understanding for that.  

I am off to bed now (on the hospital pull out.  She's completely out and hasn't moved a muscle in about an hour and a half since falling asleep.  They will wake her at 1 and 5 for her meds, so we'll see how that goes.  Pray for patience (for me!) and cooperation (for her) tomorrow.  We NEED a good day!!